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A coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears, but he was missing a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night watching fake news CNN he saw a war-zone in Afghanistan. In one corner, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another grenade 75 yards away into a chimney. Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. "I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States, teaches him the game of football and the Bears win the Super Bowl. The young man is hailed the hero of football.

The coach asks him what he wants, the young man replies to call his mother. "Mom, I just won the Super Bowl!" I don't want to talk to you, says his mother.” You are not my son!" "I don't think you understand” he pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm with thousands of fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!
 
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