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Board of Directors (Jay)
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43,454 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn’t make me happy. And know this: I’ve got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, I’ll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you get your Justin Bieber haircut.
IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.
V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. I’m not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.
VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. You’d be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
VIII. Thou shall understand that if you’re dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I’m comfortable enough with kicking your ass.
IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, then I expect you to do it.
X. Thou shall memorize commandments I – IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almight.
 

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Board of Directors (Jay)
Joined
·
43,454 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn’t make me happy. And know this: I’ve got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, I’ll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you get your Justin Bieber haircut.
IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.
V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. I’m not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.
VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. You’d be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
VIII. Thou shall understand that if you’re dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I’m comfortable enough with kicking your ass.
IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, then I expect you to do it.
X. Thou shall memorize commandments I – IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almight.
 

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Jim-CO Chapter Dictator
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2,292 Posts
Two daughters from my camp. Grown, married and responsible. One with our only granddaughter (her first and last). The other...MMMmmmmMMmmm.

I remember the dating years. Yes! I remember them well. In fact to this day they still hold me accountable for executing, or qualifying, 9 of the 10 commandments that had me at the door to meet their one time date well before they came out of their rooms.
 

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Registered
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1,375 Posts
Looks like these will be posted so there is no doubt...
 

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Retired BOD - Doug
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39,640 Posts
It's a good thing I didn't have a daughter. The CIA wouldn't know more about them than I would and I would be cleaning my gun every date night.
 
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