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Old 01-15-2012, 11:20 AM   #1
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IF MY BODY WAS A CAR..

If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...

But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather..
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

And you think you have issues!

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Old 01-15-2012, 12:20 PM   #2
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Old 01-15-2012, 01:50 PM   #3
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Old 01-15-2012, 02:13 PM   #4
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:43 PM   #5
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Storytime: While I was stateside I saw a sign outside a gym which said "get the body you have always dreamed of". So with a offer like that I went inside and indeed it was full of sweating sleek girls straining and groaning. The gym attendant came up to me with a wary eye and ask "sir, what can I do for you"? I said "don't know, there are so many to choose from". The dike escourted me out the door.
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:52 PM   #6
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