Tomorrow is "Tax Day". Here are the top ten best heard of excuses for not people not paying their taxes.
There are all sorts of reasons people give for not being able to submit their tax returns on time, from the genuinely sensible to the truly ridiculous. Here are a few of our favorites from around the web.
1. “I suffer from late filing syndrome”
A U.S. governor’s aide who failed to pay income taxes or file returns for five years pleaded in court that he suffered from ‘late filing syndrome,’ a medical condition caused by depression which only affected his ability to fill in tax returns. Unfortunately the American Psychiatric Association didn’t agree with him. How depressing.
2. “I was having a senior moment”
So you’re not quite the right side of 60 and you habitually leave your glasses/pens/calculators on buses – why not use your deteriorating memory faculties to your advantage? Apparently a few taxpayers have tried this one but the difficulty has been proving it. That, and the fact that many of them forgot to show up to their hearings.
3. “I was in a coma”
This one might actually work if true, but unfortunately it’s slightly less effective if there’s CCTV footage of you throwing shapes down at your local disco at the time you were supposedly in said coma. (This applies regardless of how bad your dancing might be).
4. “I was busy stocking up on blunt instruments ahead of the impending zombie apocalypse”
Ok, so no one’s actually used this one yet as far we’re aware, but it might not be as farfetched as you think. Scientists recently conducted research into what would happen if a zombie plague broke out and found that unless dealt with quickly and aggressively, it may result in the collapse of civilization. Given the overwhelming scientific evidence, you ought to be forgiven for taking precautions.
5. “I’m not liable to pay taxes because I’m an alien”
We presume they meant illegal immigrant in this case, although you could try pleading your case as an extra-terrestrial. Alternatively if you really are an alien, why not just use your mind-bending powers to win them over?
6. “I’m Batman, I don’t pay taxes”
This isn’t quite the excuse that Val Kilmer gave in a case involving New Jersey tax authorities recently, but at least the claim that he's Batman would be sort of true. Unless your name is Christian Bale (or indeed, Bruce Wayne) and you have the Batmobile to prove it, we don’t think this one will work.
7. “It got lost down my massive trousers”
Rapper MC Hammer (who is known for his trademark baggy ‘Hammer Pants’) had three tax liens filed against him earlier this year. He claimed the IRS miscalculated. Perhaps he lost a few receipts down those huge trousers?
8. “I haven’t had time because a baby magpie flew into my house and I have to stay in to feed it”
It might sound weird, but this was an actual excuse used by someone who didn’t pay their TV license on time. The more creative among you might like to substitute the magpie for any number of other winged creatures – baby eagle, perhaps?
9. “I’ve been kidnapped by pirates”
A little controversial, but workable. Whatever you do, don’t mention Captain Jack Sparrow.
10. “My dog ate it”
For paper returns this might seem like a tried and tested failsafe, but it’s a slightly trickier one to implement in the digital age. Can dogs eat computers? We’re not sure. If you can think of an updated version, you may get away with it, otherwise this old chestnut earns ‘null points’ for creativity. Get to the back of the class.
Birthdays/anniversaries we are celebrating this week:
Wednesday: charged392 - Keith from Florida
woodman - Darrell from Arizona
Thursday: waytostupid/lunchbox - Joey from South Carolina
Friday: 5.7 liter of freedom - Matt from Maine
If it's your birthday/anniversary/special occasion let us know and we will celebrate with you.
The rally is on the books!!!
Join us for the 2019 HTC National Rally in Branson, Missouri, June 16-21, 2019. See the thread under "rallies and events" for more details, to ask questions, and to sign up. LET'S HAVE GREAT TURNOUT THIS YEAR!!!
If you have a prayer request you would like to share either add it to this thread or PM me.
*HemiSuperbee - Mark - health concerns
*Rancher - Doug said to take him off the list but I think a quick prayer for his general health issues isn't a bad idea
Have a great week!!!