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Old 06-11-2012, 04:06 AM   #1
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Location: Wesley Chapel
Posts: 9,386
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Did I read that sign correctly?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari parkI sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

__________________
I was always taught to respect my elders but, it keeps getting harder to find any.


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Old 06-11-2012, 04:06 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wesley Chapel
Posts: 9,386
Garage
Did I read that sign correctly?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari parkI sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
__________________
I was always taught to respect my elders but, it keeps getting harder to find any.


http://www.hemitruckclub.com/attachm...epic3972_3.gif
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Old 06-11-2012, 04:20 AM   #3
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Old 06-11-2012, 04:42 AM   #4
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:15 AM   #5
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:33 AM   #6
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Old 06-11-2012, 11:22 AM   #7
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"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."--Anonymous

Member # 3568

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Old 06-11-2012, 12:51 PM   #8
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Location: Western NC
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2003 Ram 5.7 HEMI RC 2WD - Supercharged. 520 HP, 14 mpg... SOLD
2006 SRT8 GC AWD 6.1 HEMI - 420 HP, 16 mpg... SOLD
2005 Ram 5.7 HEMI QC 4X4 - bone stock work truck... SOLD
2009 Ram 5.7 HEMI QC 4X4 Laramie - bone stock for now

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Old 06-11-2012, 03:34 PM   #9
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Old 06-11-2012, 04:09 PM   #10
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Posts: 530
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ha ha that is great
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(6.1L 370 HEMI Block bored and stroked to a 426 stroker, ST-3A camshaft,148mm throttle body, Kennebell 2.8 supercharger, blower, AtI harmonic balancer, Kennebell serpentine belt tentioner, idler kit, engine serpentine belt tentioner, 80lb FORD racing fuel injectors, kennebell fuelrails, E85 capablefuel system, paramount stage 2 transmission, paramount high torque transfer case, double crank vents, Kooks custom exhaust headers, coffin mufflers, 6 point roll cage, 5 point harness, adjustable rear shocks,drilled and slotted roaters, CA91 650rwhp, E85 787rwhp tune.. installed and tuned by spanktime motors, Team Spankintime member #6 of 10
()-650rwhp CA91
()-787rwhp E85
my Jeep srt: hunts for camaro's, skins cobra's, preys on vette's

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