10 Commandments for Your Daughterís Potential Boyfriends - Hemi Truck Club
 
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:15 AM   #1
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I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesnít make me happy. And know this: Iíve got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, Iíll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you get your Justin Bieber haircut.
IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.
V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. Iím not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.
VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. Youíd be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
VIII. Thou shall understand that if youíre dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, Iím comfortable enough with kicking your ***.
IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say youíre going to do something, then I expect you to do it.
X. Thou shall memorize commandments I Ė IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almight.

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Old 11-30-2012, 10:15 AM   #2
Board of Directors (Jay)
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Isle of Palms, SC
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I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesnít make me happy. And know this: Iíve got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, Iíll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you get your Justin Bieber haircut.
IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.
V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. Iím not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.
VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. Youíd be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
VIII. Thou shall understand that if youíre dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, Iím comfortable enough with kicking your ***.
IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say youíre going to do something, then I expect you to do it.
X. Thou shall memorize commandments I Ė IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almight.
__________________
2003, Std. SWB, SLT, 20", 4:56 gear, AFE CAI, Superchip, 6.1 cam, 6.1 heads, Manley springs, retainers, pushrods, Edelbrock Hedders, 195 T-Stat, 8.2 Taylor, AEM, Power Wire, ARC-1,Amsoil Everything, and more. Veni Vidi Vici

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Old 11-30-2012, 11:30 AM   #3
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Two daughters from my camp. Grown, married and responsible. One with our only granddaughter (her first and last). The other...MMMmmmmMMmmm.

I remember the dating years. Yes! I remember them well. In fact to this day they still hold me accountable for executing, or qualifying, 9 of the 10 commandments that had me at the door to meet their one time date well before they came out of their rooms.
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Old 11-30-2012, 11:34 AM   #4
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Looks like these will be posted so there is no doubt...
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:00 PM   #5
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Be sure to wear this on date nights...
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:29 PM   #6
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It's a good thing I didn't have a daughter. The CIA wouldn't know more about them than I would and I would be cleaning my gun every date night.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:55 PM   #7
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